In the late summer of 2004, the Sunshine State© was assaulted by four hurricanes.

Even in the midst of the storm, some saw the Hand of God in our misfortune.

After Charley and Frances, these postcards began selling like hot-cakes.

This one was also popular with locals who had kinfolk elsewhere.

Lot's of folks took a long-term, philosophical view...

Late-season tourists looked a bit askance at the new Interstate signage...

Emergency services in the affected counties (eventually all of them) made appropriate preparations.

Local wildlife began to rethink their historical habitat...

Folks fondly remembered days gone by...

Pogo's pal decided to pack it in and get out of town...

After Charley beat us up, many had a rude awakening as they noticed the calendar.

Some or our newer residents, involved in their first hurricane evacuation,
thought better of their choice to make their home here.

Ivan clearly indicated his intentions while yet a few miles off the coast.

This was the projected path of Ivan as it approached landfall. Those of us here in Niceville are glad
it took a different course, although we grieve for the damage inflicted to those folks west of us.

The CSX Railroad sustained a lot of damage, too. Major repairs were required
before trains could run here again, but they managed it in only a couple of weeks.

After all that, we all picked up and re-located. Hope the Yankees can't find us up here.

You might be a Floridian if:
  • You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
  • The freezer in your garage is full of homemade ice.
  • You flinch when you are introduced to a person named Charley, Frances or Ivan.
  • You find yourself dropping words like "millibar" and "convection" into everyday conversation.
  • Your pantry contains more than 10 cans of Spaghetti Os.
  • Making coffee on your propane grill does not seem like an odd thing to do.
  • You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
  • When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe place.
  • You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
  • You are delighted to pay $2 for a gallon of unleaded.
  • The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
  • You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
  • You have the number for FEMA on your speed dialer.
  • You own more than three large coolers.
  • You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
  • Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
  • You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway.
  • You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
  • At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chain saw.
  • You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
  • There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
  • You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
  • Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
  • Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
  • Relocating to North Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

Lessons learned from Hurricane Ivan:
  • Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
  • No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.
  • Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
  • Cats are even more irritating without power.
  • He who has the biggest generator wins.
  • All those stories about 1955? They were true.
  • Women can actually survive without doing their hair - you just wish they weren't surviving around you.
  • A new method of non-lethal torture: showers without hot water.
  • That smell only goes away as long as the candles stay lit.
  • There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
  • A vodka chaser after a glass of contaminated water doesn't kill the bacteria. Oh, excuse me... Gotta go!
  • TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time, brother.
  • A 7 lb bag of ice will chill six 12 oz. Yuenglings to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
  • There are a lot of trees around here.
  • The duration of the power outage will be inversely proportional to the number of flashlight batteries you have in the drawer.
  • Flood plain drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
  • Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs, the speed limit on roads without traffic lights does not increase.
  • Landscaping, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
  • Just because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.
  • Alligators can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.
  • When required, a Chrysler 300M will float; doesn't steer well, but floats just the same.
  • Some things DO keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
  • If The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore shows up in your neighborhood, it's time to start worrying.
  • Telemarketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
  • Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.
  • 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!
  • Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
  • If I had a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators...I'd be rich.
  • The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a flood.
  • Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
  • Tree service companies are under-appreciated.
  • I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.
  • MATH 101: 30 days in month < 6 days without power = 30% higher electric bill ?????
  • Drywall is a compound word; take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.
  • No, all those people AREN'T having a block-wide yard sale.

The new Symbols of Florida:
  • The Florida State Flag will now be......
    ... a blue tarp
  • The license plate symbol of two oranges will be replaced by......
    ... a chain saw
  • The new State song will be......
    ... "Blowing in the Wind"
  • The state motto will now be......
    ... "Oh my God, Here comes another one"
  • The new state beverage will be.......
    ... anything with an alcohol base.
  • The new State tree will be .....
    ... any that are left standing at the end of hurricane season......
  • The new State Bird will be......
    ... the "whipper"will
  • The new State nickname will be......
    ... "State of Disaster"

With Thanks to all who posted these tidbits...

Click Here for some more Hurricane cartoons

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Constructed, Maintained, and © by Ron Kohlin of Niceville, Florida, USA
Last updated on December 15, 2004.
Send E-mail to " Ron at Kohlin dot com "