To whom it may concern:
It has come to my attention that someone has been closing passenger and freight rail service and removing stations, towers, roundhouses, turntables, transfer tables, time tables, shops, depots, freight houses, engine houses, fruit houses, sand houses, outhouses, coal towers, sheds, shacks, shantys, water tanks, train order boards, whistle boards, pole lines, signals, yards, swing bridges, lift bridges, signal bridges, plain old bridges, trestles, tunnels, viaducts, tracks and entire railroads. They have also been scrapping engines, passenger cars, sleeping cars, dining cars, lounge cars, baggage cars, dome cars, observation cars, RPOs, box cars, cattle cars, refrigerater cars, tank cars, wreckers, hand cars, way cars, cabin cars, motor cars, outfit cars and numerous other examples of railroad rolling stock.
Worst of all I have learned they have been destroying steam locomotives.
This has caused the unemployment of many fine clerks, boilermakers, switchmen, brakemen, flagmen, firemen, engineers, conductors, machinists, carmen, signalmen, telegraphers, levermen, yardmasters, trainmasters, roadmasters, stationmasters, master mechanics, track inspectors, car inspectors, signal inspectors, watch inspectors, and others too numerous to mention such as dispatchers, section crew, signal maintainers, mail clerks, firelighters, boilerwashers, stationary engineers, non-stationary engineers, roundhouse foremen, superintendents, red caps, baggage men, Harvey girls, chefs, chiefs, (super and otherwise), porters, attendants, express agents, station agents, passenger agents, freight agents, special agents, road agents, carpenters, news butchers, welders, blacksmiths, electricians, bridge builders, bridge operators, stewardess-nurses named Sue, Rocky Mountain big-horned sheep and Phoebe Snow.
So whoever is doing this, stop it immediately! Put it all back exactly the way you found it! Never do anything like this again!
And while you are at it, give everything a fresh coat of paint.